I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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