Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
