Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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