if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
