if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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