I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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