my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
