Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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