so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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