Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
