I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
