You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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