Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You're earring is so big in my mouth
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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