my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize