if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
