Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
