her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
