ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
