I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just want to make out with him forever
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think people are normalizing furries
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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