We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Drake has all the answers
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
