if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You made out with two different species that night
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
