I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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