I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
