I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
