sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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