I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dignity is for republicans.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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