haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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