i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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