While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
