You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
