The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
