I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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