Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
