Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
