just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
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