that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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