Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
