why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Semen is not good for contacts.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize