Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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