I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize