You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
