Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
