she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
