And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
