Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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