I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
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