i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
