This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
