I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
