STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
porn star boner night. come get it.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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