WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
