Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
