she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
