Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
