half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
