And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
