After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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