I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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