Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Sacagawea was the original milf.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
