stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
