Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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