Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
