yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
