This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize