Already got asked if we're dating
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
