the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
