I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just gargled with NyQuil
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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