when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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