And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
