I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
