at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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