You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
