i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
the liver wants what the liver wants
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
