make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
