You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
