My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
