He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
