My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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