But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
