phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
