were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
