Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
