I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
it's like iHOP with fire
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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