I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
