just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
